


Kitchen Sink (Don't Leave Me Alone)

by Red_Forest



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Based on a Twenty One Pilots Song, Cancer, Daddy Issues, Dreams and Nightmares, Dreams vs. Reality, Imaginary Friends, Imagination, Inspired by Music, Josh Lives, M/M, Shy Tyler, Social Anxiety, Top Josh, Top Tyler, Trains
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-28
Updated: 2016-10-28
Packaged: 2018-08-27 11:23:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,998
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8399791
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Red_Forest/pseuds/Red_Forest
Summary: “Yeah she freaked on me. She thinks I’m crazy Josh. She’s taken me to four child therapists and they all think I’m a schizo… But I know you’re real, even though they all think I’m-” Tyler swirled his finger around his ear, signalling him the word-“Crazy?” Josh concluded, Tyler nodding. “They don’t know you, Tyler. Don’t take it personally” “Nobody thinks what I think…” he whispered.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [SoloChaos](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SoloChaos/gifts).
  * Inspired by [stay in place (sing a chorus)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/1822504) by [SoloChaos](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SoloChaos/pseuds/SoloChaos). 



> This was sort of inspired by the forest fic, the whole imaginary friend thing. But I wrote this for my English assignment about irony and I made some people cry so I decided I would post it here. I tried to make it as different from the forest fic as possible, I'm not trying to copy at all I promise. Think what you want about this story, I just felt inspired I guess.

Rain taps violently on the kitchen window. It’s cold this evening, about 8 degrees cooler than usual as Winter begins to transition to Spring, changing the once bare, skeletal trees that made the forests around Tyler’s house into soft greens and yellows. It’s almost 5 pm, it’s been raining since noon. A sleet almost. You would think the clouds would have dried up like a sponge left in the sun too long, but the cloud’s dull weeping showed no signs of stopping. Tyler sits in his living room, staring out the sliding glass door that shows out onto a large field, rimmed with trees. Tyler examines the scene before him. The sky, grey clouds painted against a lilac sky, raindrops clinging to his wooden porch, darkening the colors.   
“Tyler when are you gonna stop staring out that window and help me bring in groceries?” 

Tyler is taken back by the sudden broken silence. He doesn’t respond for awhile, his mind as blank as his geometry homework crumpled in his bookbag.   
“Oh, I’ll um… Be there, uh to help soon.” He sputters out, still a bit dazed. He unfolds his legs and stretches as he makes he way through the kitchen to the garage. 

His bare feet tap through the cement flooring, making his way to his mom’s red car, which was beaded with rain water which was still sliding down the doors. Tyler reached into the trunk, gripping three plastic bags, the last three bags in the car. Using his elbow, he pushed the trunk down with a slam as it locked by itself. He padded back inside the house, his feet wet from the puddles created by the car. Tyler set the bags on the countertop, watching his mom stack cans of spaghetti sauce and corn into the cabinets. 

“How was work?” Tyler began helping his mom put away groceries. 

Starting with the ice cream and refrigerated items. The sound of crumpling plastic and the sliding of glass bottles filled the once silent kitchen.   
“Same old, same old. Nothing really worth mentioning.” She sighed, staring at all the bags that now littered the kitchen floors and counters.

“What about you, Tyler? How was your day?” Tyler looked at his mom, then back into the fridge.

“It was fine. Kinda boring I guess.” he shrugged, putting the last of the groceries where they were supposed to be.

He shut the fridge door, slow enough to watch the light go out before shutting it completely. A silence grew in the room like an unwanted weed in a garden. Tyler stared at his hand still on the handle of the fridge.

“You’re gonna have to go back to school eventually, Tyler… you do know that, right?” 

Tyler didn’t look up. He knew she was going to bring it up eventually. Feeling the tears well up in his eyes he shook his head.

“No.” was all he could choke out without spilling out tears, he took a breath, examining the drawings and A+ papers pasted on the fridge. One picture in particular caught his attention, a childish drawing of his family done by his little sister. Tyler scanned over the harsh crayon lines carved into the paper that formed together to make a male figure on the paper. Dad. The silence was back again before Tyler’s mom hesitated.

“Tyler… you can’t keep waiting here…. your father’s not coming back…. But you know he would want you to go-” 

“What? Go to school, get a degree, work a nine to five job and hate my life? What does it matter I go to school? We all have no purpose because we’re all going to die anyways and-” Tyler turned around, glaring at his mom, his eyes burning red.  
“ -And Dad showed me that.” Tyler hissed at his mom, tears turning to anger at the mention of his father. 

“Tyler.” his mom said sternly with a twist of disappointment, furrowing her brows. “That’s not what I meant. Don’t start with this.” 

“Start with what? Sorry that I had to be the one to break it to you that people don’t live forever.” he scoffed, storming across the kitchen. 

“Tyler Robert Joseph!” She scorned, following his to the stairs. 

“Just Leave me alone!” he cried, his voice cracking as the tears broke free. 

He stomped up to his room and slammed the door, collapsing on his bed sobbing. Tyler hugged his pillow to his chest, burying his face into it, his eyes caught the glow of his alarm clock showing 5:48. Almost 6 o'clock. Tyler sobbed quietly into his pillow, thinking about his dad. It’s been almost three months and nothing has gotten better for Tyler or his family. Everyone has been on edge, more cautious. Much more cautious. Tyler refuses to go anywhere, or be around other people in general, barely being able to stand being around his own family. His mom keeps pressuring him to go to school, but Tyler refuses each time. His anxiety is worse than it ever was, he just misses his dad… and his old life that his dad took with him when he passed.

Tyler slowly cried into a peaceful sleep. His breathing fell into a normal pattern again, loosening his grip on his pillow. He had a dream that night, the same as always. A memory replayed back in his sleep, usually of his father. Tyler had been seeing psychologist because of his anxiety. Which was an issue, obviously.

 

He was in the car with his dad, driving home from Tyler’s basketball game, the night his team finally went from undefeated, to 2nd best in state. 

“Don’t worry about it Tyler,” 

his dad would say, as Tyler was leaning against the door, head pressed against the cool glass, his breath fogging up the window. Tyler begins counting the snowflakes that melted against the window. ‘181… 182… 183…’ Tyler found that counting helped his anxiety, it gave him control, made him feel better.

Tyler’s dad cleared his throat. 

“Tyler.” Tyler shifted his drowsy eyes over to his dad, blinking slowly, letting out a low hum as if assuring his dad he heard him. 

“It’s okay. 2nd place isn’t bad.” Tyler scoffed. 

“Yeah, but first place would be ‘not bad’ either.” he said quietly, his voice raspy from the dry winter air.

“ You're not always gonna be number one, Ty. That’s just how life is, but you can choose how to feel about it.” 

Tyler sat up, looking at his father, his eyes full of curiosity.

“What do you mean?” Tyler’s dad smiled.  
“Look at this bottle, Ty.” he lifts a plastic water bottle out of the cup holder, handing it to Tyler. “What do you see?” Tyler raises a brow, half in annoyance, half in confusion. 

“A water bottle…?” Tyler’s dad chuckled softly  
.  
“No, Tyler. How much water is in it?”

Tyler hold the bottle upright, examining the contents of it. 

“It’s half empty…?” he looks at his dad, hoping it was the right answer. 

“Are you sure it’s not half full?” Tyler rolls his eyes. 

“Yeah, so. What’s the difference?” the water in the bottle jumped as the car went through a small pothole. 

“The difference is perspective, Tyler. Life is what you make it, you can either hate it or love it. But you only got one shot so decide quick how your gonna live it.” 

Tyler sat back in his seat, the words of his father echoing around his skull.

“Everyone’s perspective is unique to his or her life.” He continued.

“What happens in your life affect how you see things. You having your own personal meanings to things that other people might not.” Tyler shook his head.

“Yeah, I understand” It wasn’t long before Tyler drifted off in the passenger side of his dad’s truck, the bumps in the road soothing his mind as he counted them. ‘26… 27...28’ until he finally passed out.

“Tyler wake up.” His dad whispered. 

Sun rays burned his eyes that were once buried into his pillow. He glanced around his room, Nobody. He stretched his arms as he glanced over at his alarm clock, 6:26. Tyler sat up and began thinking about last night’s dream, then about he and his mother’s argument. He wiped his eyes and stood up, changing from his pajamas into jeans and a t-shirt, rolling his socks onto his feet. Tyler shuffled over to his once abandoned bookbag and slid in onto his shoulder, running his hands through his messy brown hair before padding down the stairs to where his family was eating breakfast.

“Tyler, what are you doing?” his mom turned towards him, Tyler could tell she knew the answer, he hesitated a bit, shifting the weight on his feet. 

“Uh, well I thought I could, you know… try going to school today.” His mother smiled bright than the rays of sun that shone through his window this morning. 

“That’s great! Do you want breakfast?” Tyler shook his head.

“Not really. I already feel sick as it is.” he stayed by the wall, leaning against it watching his younger siblings eat. 

“Did you take your pills, Ty?” She said, turning to the sink, scrubbing pans clean of egg residue.

“No, I’ll do that now.” He walked over to the bathroom in the hall, staring at his reflection in the medicine cabinet mirror. 

His eyes wore dark circles underneath them, despite having more than enough sleep in his system. He opened the cabinet pulling out the small white box he’s fairly acquainted with. Tyler read the box, ‘Wyeth: Ativan (lorazepam) 2mg’ Tyler slid out the foil tray, popping out two small, white pills, plopping them in his mouth. Tyler turned the handle of the sink and bent down, sucking up some water. 

Tyler walked out of the house, saying goodbye to his mom. He walked down the weathered sidewalk sprinkled with salt every here and there. Piles of snow rested in the dead grass lightly coated with mud. Tyler glanced around him, he’d barely been out of the house in three months, everything seemed so much duller than he remembered. The tree’s still skeletons bare of any leaves, the grass was a dead brown yellow color. Tyler hated school. His anxiety made it hard for him to talk to anyone, let alone make friends. He’s pretty much lost all of them after his dad passed away. He cut off everyone and stayed home, not talking to anyone for at least a month before his mom became his best friend. Even still he had problems talking to her. 

Tyler saw the school in the distance, kids crowding the entrance, laughing and yelling all in their designated cliques. Tyler hesitated for a second, rethinking what he was about to get himself into. Tyler stared down at his shaking hands, contemplating going home, he shifted his feet before finally deciding to go into the school. Tyler nervously swam through the seemingly endless ocean of students, a little lost in the abyss. Tyler anxiously glanced around the school yard, noticing everyone who has changed. Darren got a lot taller, his hair was shorter. Makayla’s hair was shorter, and she was now a blonde, still the same size she has been since the 7th grade. Jackson was a lot more built than he remembered, and a beard now? Tyler even noticed a few faces he’d never seen before. Tyler felt the same, still skinny, still had short hair. Tyler didn’t really like change that much, well, actually, he doesn’t like it at all. He might not like change, but he can spot it from a mile away.  
Tyler walks to his old locker, a few of his teammates stopping to say:

“Hey Ty? How’ve you been?” Or the cheerleaders showing him sympathy and support:

“Oh my gosh, Tyler! We’ve missed you so much, how are things?” 

And the very common: 

“I’m sorry for your loss. Good to see you back, though.” from the teachers. 

Tyler tried to talk to as less people as possible. ‘Stay low’ said the voice in his head, and he complied without a hesitation for once. Tyler collected his things for his first class: Social Studies. He quickly trotted through the hallway to his class, keeping his head down, staring at his feet, glancing upwards every once and awhile. 

Tyler sits down in his seat, everyone around him looking at him weird. The felt fear crawl up his arms, his spine, glancing around nervously. His throat swelled up, preventing him from saying anything, he felt hot.   
“Tyler? Are you okay?” The girl with the long hair and sparkly eyes asked. 

“Huh?” Was all he choked out before falling onto the classroom floor. A flash of white blinded Tyler, then a deafening ringing in his ears before all black. 

“Tyler, why can’t you do anything right?” he heard his dad whisper. 

 

Tyler woke up in the nurse's office. His head throbbing, stinging the back of his eyes, his throat. It even hurt him to breathe. Tyler sat up, his muscles sore, dad’s voice echoing through his head. He started to cry, his tears raining onto the wool blanket like a long awaited storm in a dry desert. Tyler lifted his hand to his misty eyes and covered them, sobbing into his shaking hands. 

“Hey, are you okay?” a quiet voice came from the other side of the curtain. Tyler sniffled, running his hand through his hair, dragging the eye-rain across his face.

“Hello?” the voice said, laced with annoyance. 

Suddenly the curtain was pulled back, revealing a boy with ruby red hair, dyed. He shaved the sides kind of like a frohawk, but it suited him nonetheless. He had small black eyes, and a nose ring, he was pale, but smiling, friendly. Tyler lurched back instinctively, drawing his hands to his chest.

“You ignorin’ me?” Red hair said jokingly, pushing the rest of the curtain back, sitting facing Tyler. Tyler stared at him, hiccuping every once and awhile. 

“N-no.” Tyler stuttered, dropping his hands to his lap. 

“I’m just kiddin’ man,” Red Hair said, standing up and walking around the nurse office, sitting up on the counter across the small room.

“Salutations, I’m Joshua William Dun, people just call me Josh, though. What’s your name?” His smile wide and friendly despite his rather contradicting appearance. 

“Tyler… I’m Tyler” Tyler replied quietly, wiping his eyes.

“Well, ‘Tyler’, what’s wrong?” Tyler, furrowed his brows, he’d never seen the red haired boy named Josh before at this school, he wondered how long he’d been here. 

“I don’t know. This is my first day back at school, and I passed out because I was nervous and now my mom’s gonna be mad because I can’t ever do anything right and-” Tyler spoke a million miles a minute, his eyes misting up again. 

“Hey, woah, it’s okay, friend. It’s my first day, too. But like, I just wanna go home so I’m just chilling in here.” Josh smiled, jumping off the counter. 

Tyler sniffled, watching Josh walk into the bathroom that was by the entryway of the the nurse’s office. 

“Oh, yeah. I’ve never seen you here before.” Tyler smiled weakly at the red haired Josh. 

“Yeah, I don’t like it here so far. Too small, ya’ know?” he said from the bathroom, echoing off the walls. 

“I mean, I guess... I don’t know.” Tyler shrugged, waiting for Josh to respond. 

“I like you, Tyler. We should hang out sometime. I’m ditching tomorrow if you wanna come with. I’m going to the abandoned bridge near West Aimsel Street above the train tracks. You know what I’m talking about?” Tyler shrugged once more, smiling half heartedly. 

“Yeah, I know. Sounds good, I guess. Never ditched school before.” Josh poked his head out from the door frame, nodding before pulling himself back in. 

“Meet me there, it’ll be fun.” He laughed, running the sink for a few seconds before turning it off. 

“Okay, see you there.” Tyler finally smiled for real, finally making a friend after months of isolation. 

“Who are you talking to, Mr. Joseph?” The nurse walked in, holding a stack of papers. 

Her small glasses perched at the end of her small pointy nose. Her eyes were small and wrinkled, her brownish-grey hair pulled back into a small bun atop of her head. 

Tyler looked confused, “Josh?” he said, tugging at the wool blanket anxiously.

“Josh who?” She persisted, skimming her papers, before glancing upward at Mr. Joseph.

“Josh Dun. The new kid.” he replied with a confused yet irritated tone. 

“I didn’t know we had a new kid, whatever.” she sighed, skimming back through her papers. 

“Anyways, your mother is here to take you home.” she said, sounding very bored, clearly annoyed. 

“Okay, thank you.” Tyler said, forcing himself to stand up. His muscles aching a bit before walking past the old nurse woman. 

“Thanks for trying.” she added as he walked out the door towards the office, feeling a pang of hurt shoot through his heart like a needle, then followed by a small thread of anger. Tyler rolled his eyes continuing to the office.

Tyler opened the large heavy door, his worried mom being the first figure he saw.

“Oh, Tyler.” she said, standing up from the bright orange chair and hugging him tight. 

 

“I shouldn’t have said anything to make you go to school. I’m sorry Ty.” they were driving home, living only a short distance from the school. 

Tyler’s mom still dressed for work, her blonde hair in a loose bun, hair falling out in every direction around her face. He never realized how old she looked, tired. Stressed. She looked like a mom. 

“It’s okay, mom. It was my decision” he fiddled his fingers, still anxious.

“If it makes you feel better, I made a friend today.” Tyler smiled brightly, looking back out the window as they were approaching his house.

“Oh, that’s great, Tyler! What’s his name” She reflected Tyler’s smile, pulling into their driveway. 

“Joshua William Dun, but people call him Josh.” Tyler repeated in a sort of mocking tone. 

“And he has bright red hair, which is super cool.” he continued, unlocking the car door. Tyler’s mom looked confused, slightly raising a brow.

“Uh, that’s wonderful, Ty. I’ll see you later, okay?” she smiled, blowing a kiss. 

“Love you.” Tyler said bounding up to the front door, opening it. Tyler stepped inside and ran up to his room, sitting against the door, proud he finally made a friend. 

 

The next day, February 26th.

 

Tyler wakes up at around 9 the next morning, rolling out of bed groggy. His mom leaving his pills and water by his side table. Him and Josh never really decided a time, but dressed himself and headed out anyways. Tyler slipped on a blue t-shirt and black jeans and bounded out the door, down to the old abandoned bridge, down a forest trail behind his house. It’s a shortcut him and his brother would go down to get there, all the neighborhood kids hung out down there, despite their parents saying it was too dangerous. That’s what made it more fun.

Tyler trotted down the trail, bare trees lined the dirt path, the grass still a dead brown, piles of snow every few feet. The bitter wind blew cold across his face, his nose glowing a soft rose color. After about ten minutes, Tyler saw the clearing that dropped off above the bridge where he saw Josh leaning against the bridge. Noticing his red hair first. He jumped down about 5 feet from the forest onto the graveyard of trees and trash by the bridge.

“Oh, hey! You showed up.” Josh smiled, putting his phone into his back pocket. 

“Why wouldn’t I?” Tyler replied, sounding almost offended. 

“I dunno. You seemed scared of me yesterday.” Josh smiled, crossing his arms over his chest. 

“Oh, no. I just have anxiety. It’s kind of bad, whenever I meet new people. Which is why I don’t go to school.” Tyler said, approaching red haired Josh, examining his hair, which fascinated him. 

“Makes sense.” He agreed, his ruby hair sweeping his pale face. 

“I really like your hair.” Tyler choked out, and Josh smiling in appreciation. 

“Thank you. I feel like without it I’m to… you know… normal.” He laughed, running his hand through the ruby red mess of hair. 

“Oh.” Tyler said, cocking his head a bit.

“Makes sense.” He finished, grinning at ruby haired Josh. 

 

“I just feel worthless, you know?” Tyler sighed, watching his feet dangle 50 feet over the train tracks. Fascinated by the thick fog cloud on the ground far beneath him.

“Are you searching for purpose?” Josh said distantly, also starring at the tracks. 

“Well, I feel like everyone is, it’s just I just don’t know how to feel like I’m important.”

Josh shook his head, turning to the weird boy named Tyler. 

“Then write something, or even paint something.” He replied, looking over at Tyler. 

“It won’t be worth anything. I’m not very important.” Tyler glanced back, holding tightly onto the rusty red bars of the bridge.

“Yeah, it might be worthless, pointless. Nonsense. But if you have something only you understand, that others do not. It’ll be your job as a person to explain it. Giving you worth. Don’t worry you’ll see purpose start to surface.” 

Tyler shook his head.

“I don’t understand”

“Okay, so think of it like this; think of an object or place where something very significant happened.” 

Tyler thought for a second. 

“My kitchen sink…” Tyler said, voice laced with sadness.

“Okay, good. So basically, a kitchen sink to you,” Josh smiled, pointing at Tyler. 

“-Is not a kitchen sink to me.” Flipping his finger into his own chest. Tyler furrowed his brows.

“I don’t know what that means.” 

Josh shook his head, laughing.

“As expected,” Josh adjusting his position to face Tyler more.

“So, a kitchen sink to you, is different than what it is to me. Meaning something important to you happened there, an experience I, nor anyone else has had, therefore making that object special to you because of what memories you have connected with it. I just see a kitchen sink, you won’t ever see just a kitchen sink. You see? It’s all about memories that make things valuable.”

Tyler smiled, his eyes lighting up. 

“I think I understand now.” glancing back down at his feet dangling idly in the wind. 

“Good. Never tell anyone what it means to you, otherwise it’ll lose it’s worth.” 

Tyler shook his head, signaling he understood. 

After hours of mindless talking, Tyler noticed he time and decided to head home. 

“We should do this again tomorrow.” Josh smiled as Tyler climbed to the top of the forest landing from where he came. 

“Yeah, sounds fun.” Tyler smiled, waving goodbye before disappearing into the woods, rushing home before his mom found out he’d left the house.

 

Tyler snuck through the back door, noticing his mom’s car parked in the driveway. ‘Oh no’ he thought as he went through the door. 

“Tyler Joseph! Where have you been?” She barked, planting her hands on her hips.

“I was with Jos-” Tyler’s mom interrupted him, her face flushing an angry Josh hair red. 

“Don’t give me that bull, Tyler. I was talking to your principle today to see if you were there, and asked about this ‘Joshua William Dun’ to see if he may know where you're at and he said there was no one registered at the school under that name. Why would you lie to me about him, Tyler?”

Tyler felt angry and confused. 

“What are you talking about? Of course he’s real I spent the whole day with him. Yesterday was his first day, mom. I’m not lying!” He rebutted, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Tyler stop it! Why can’t you just be honest with me I’m your mother! Do you think I just made up what your principal told me? Huh Tyler?” She hissed at him, close to tears.

“I'm telling the truth mom!” he yelled back, throwing his fists down to his sides.

“Why don’t you trust me the way you trusted your father!” Silence hit the kitchen faster than a deer hitting a speeding car on a freeway. Both Tyler and his mother teared up, Tyler taken aback and shocked. His throat swelled up, choking on his tongue. Neither of them said anything for what seemed like an eternity and a half. 

“Can I meet him…?” Tyler’s mother said quietly, her voice catching a little. 

“Yeah, I’ll talk to him.” With that, Tyler left the kitchen, climbing up to his room not even bother to change before plummeting into his bed. 

 

May 1st  
“Yeah she freaked on me. She thinks I’m crazy Josh. She’s taken me to four child therapists and they all think I’m a schizo… But I know you’re real, even though they all think I’m-” Tyler swirled his finger around his ear, signalling him the word-  
“Crazy?” Josh concluded, Tyler nodding. 

“They don’t know you, Tyler. Don’t take it personally”

“Nobody thinks what I think…” he whispered. 

Tyler hesitated for a second. 

“If you would just go and meet my mom, they would know I’m not crazy...”

The air sudden felt thick, uncomfortable. He knew how Josh didn’t like to talk about his family. Tyler stared ahead, not looking to his colorful haired friend sitting next to him.

“Why can’t you Josh?” 

Josh furrowed is brows in annoyance.

“I told you, already. I just don’t feel ready yet.” Tyler watched a train pass beneath them, loud and windy as it went by.

‘117’

“I tell my mom that and the doctors but they don’t believe it. We’ve been hanging out for 3 months Josh, how are you not ready?”

Josh clutches his fists, shooting his eyes angrily over at Tyler.

“Because I’m just not Tyler!”

Tyler jumped, feeling a slight pinch of hurt. 

“Okay, I’m sorry Josh” Tyler watches the train disappear in the distance. 

Josh bumped his shoulder to Tyler’s. 

“I’m sorry. It’s just, ya’ know, my mom and all-.” He trailed off. 

“Yeah, I know.” Tyler sighed, counting the metal bars between the tracks. ‘1...2...3”

There were 1423 bars he could see, and Tyler knew that, but still recounted, just in case.

Josh’s ocean blue hair was crashing against his face like waves on a rocky beach. Tyler looked up, smiling.

“I like your new hair, Josh” Ocean blue haired Josh reflects a smile.

“You tell me that every day.” 

“I just really like your hair.” Tyler said defensively, but playful. 

After the storms in the springtime, the bridge began to fall apart more. Holes formed in the wood in the center, rotting away. The dirt around the edge of the cliff above the tracks were falling off in chunks, even a few times the fire trucks had to come and move it. 

Tyler heard his watch start to beep, showing eight o’clock. 

“I have to go home now, okay? It’s getting late”

Tyler stood up from his place on the bridge, making his way to the where the forest meets the clearing, climbing up.

“Tomorrow?” Josh followed behind him, pushing him up to the top of the small drop off. 

“I don’t know, I have therapy tomorrow. Maybe afterwards, though.” 

Josh rolled his eyes. “Oh yeah.” 

Tyler shook his head.

“Josh.” He sighed 

“Yeah, I know. Bye Tyler.” he said watching Tyler spring through the trees until he disappeared behind a curtain of soft greens and yellows.

Tyler sprinted home, admiring the forest as it began to rain. Striking the leaves around him sounding like little drums.  
Tyler walks into the kitchen, his mother waiting for him as per usual. 

“What did you do today, Tyler?” She smiled, she was clearly forcing herself to sound interested. She looked nervous, sad. 

“Uh, Josh and I just talked, we saw another train today.” Tyler’s mom held her smile, running her hand through her hair. 

“How many total, now?” Tyler smiled, almost fooled by her fake enthusiasm. 

“117 total.”

He looked down at his hands to make sure. 

“He also dyed his hair, mom. Ocean blue is what he said the color was.”

“That’s…. Great. Blue’s my favorite color.”

Tyler smiled.

“It’s Josh’s favorite color.”

Tyler’s mom nodded her head, pushing her hair behind her ear.

“Are you gonna eat tonight?” Tyler shook his head.

“Not hungry.” 

He’d been losing weight to where he was just on the brink of still looking healthy.

“Okay, there are leftovers in the fridge in case you do hungry.” She turned around and headed for the living room. 

“Don’t forget therapy tomorrow.” She yelled back.

 

“So Tyler…” Doctor Graye asked, she smiled up at him, her black hair braided back, the majority of her hair was, well, unironically dyed grey.

She was a younger girl, late twenty’s maybe, freckles, foresty green eyes that were really pretty. She had a small round nose, and big eyes, dark skin. She was really nice, too.   
“Yes?” Tyler said, shuffling his feet from the chair he was in, watching her sit back down. 

“Have you talked to John lately?” Tyler glared in irritation.

“You mean Josh?” He said in a deep, annoyed voice.

“Oh shoot! Yes, I’m sorry Tyler I mixed up the names on this paper.” he smiled forgivingly. 

“Don’t worry about it.” She giggled nervously, jotting notes down onto her paper. 

“ Okay, lets try again. Have you talked to Josh lately?” she smiled, her pearly teeth showing through her thin lips. 

“Yes. We talked about his family life, and my anxiety. We also saw our 117 train yesterday. “ She nodded her head, scribbling down notes  
.   
“Nice, nice.” She said quietly, preoccupied with writing.

“What’s Josh’s family life like?” She looked up from her notepad, clutching the pen. She had a new nail color today, the same pink from about two weeks ago. 

“Not good. Josh tells me his parent’s fight a lot, so that’s why he won’t meet my mom because he’s scared.” Doctor Gray started writing again, furrowing her dark brows. 

“Does he ever talk about suicide? Or self-harm?” She said not looking up this time. 

“Um… no. He’s very against that, he always makes sure I won’t do it. He thinks everyone has a purpose, and everyone’s purpose is to find their purpose. But he does have anger issues. He gets mad easily, but never stays mad.” 

Doctor Gray started writing frantically trying to keep up. After she was done she smiled and looked up, waiting for him to continue. Tyler glanced down at his hands, growing silent.

“Josh reminds me of my Dad, Doctor.” Tyler frowned, thinking about how similar Josh and his dad explain things to him. 

“Oh, I see…” She said shaking her head, sounding sympathetic. This being the first time Tyler had admitted it to another person. 

“Okay, Tyler. I think we’re done for today.” She said, handing him 3 rolls of Smarties.

“Aren’t you gonna ask me about my anxiety?” he said, both of them standing up, starting to the door. 

“No, I think I figured it out. I need you and your mother for a second. We need to all talk.” 

 

***  
“They all think I’m a figment of your imagination?” Josh said slowly, tossing some Smarties into his mouth. 

“Yes” Tyler replied slowly, sucking on the pink and white candies. 

“Because your father died and you created me as a way to cope with the trauma?” Josh raised a brow, looking at Tyler who was dropping smarties onto the train tracks below. 

“Pretty much.”

Josh watched a candy flutter down from Tyler’s hand down onto the tracks. 

“That’s nonsense.” Josh scoffed. 

Tyler didn’t say anything as he plucked another candy from the package, watching it fall down to the ground. 

“Like, I’m obviously real.” he laughed nervously, glancing at Tyler who was still watching candy fall. 

“You do think I’m real… right?” 

Tyler ran out of candy as he just stared at his feet. 

“Tyler?” Josh nervously asked, still watching Tyler’s every move. 

“Josh…?” Josh perked up, swallowing hard. 

“Yeah? What is it?” Tyler hesitated, glancing up at the grey sky. 

“I don’t think we should hang out anymore…” he whispered, not looking at Josh. Josh moved away for a second, surprised by his reply. 

“Uh..m... What?” Josh didn’t know how to respond. 

“We can’t keep hanging out, Josh! Everyone thinks I’m crazy, and I’m starting to believe them!” Tyler stood up, Josh following Tyler over to the clearing.

“Tyler! I’m real! Why wouldn’t I be?” Tyler spun around, glaring at Josh. 

“Why weren’t you registered at our school the first day we met? Doesn’t that seem a little odd?” He growled, clenching his fists. Josh, feeling threatened, reflecting Tyler. 

“Because my parents just sent me there for a day to see if I liked it! So on my first day they hadn’t had me in the system yet!” Josh hissed back at him. Like a dog fighting a cat. 

“Surely the principal should have heard of you don’t ya think ‘Joshua William Dun’?” Tyler backed up a few step, gritting his teeth. 

“Tyler, you don’t understand!” 

“What is there to not understand? You’ve been lying to me! You're not real Josh!”

“Tyler I’m real!” 

“Prove it to me! Go tell my mom, Josh! How about the four therapists I’ve been sent to because of you?”

Josh grew stern, his face a light red. 

“Tyler, you know about my parents-”

“Yeah, well you know what Josh? My mom isn’t your parents! It shouldn’t be so hard!”

“Shut up, Tyler! What do you know? You don’t even have a dad!”

Tyler’s eyes widen in shock and hurt. Tears flowing from his eyes in anger, eyes a burning red.

“You're not real. You're not my friend. I don’t need you anymore.”

Tyler backed up to the forest, flipping around.

“Tyler!” 

Josh ran up in front of him, blocking Tyler’s route of escape.

“Get outta my way!”

“No, Tyler. Please I’m real, I’m sorry I said that. I was just angry.”

“No.” Tyler glared

“Tyler!”

Tyler lifted his hands to his hears. 

“I’m just crazy! I hate you, leave me alone!” 

Josh’s eyes began to tear up, anger and hurt. Josh grabbed Tyler by the shoulders.

“Tyler! Your not crazy, alright? I’m real!”

Tyler pushed him off, as much force as his frail body could. 

Josh stumbled back, a surprised look in his eyes, his ocean blue hair crashing angry waves. 

“Tyler?” Tears streaming down both of their faces, eyes red like Josh’s ruby hair the first day they met. 

“Go away.” Tyler said quietly, yet somehow soaked in irritation.

“What?” Josh sputtered out, looking at his friend shaking and trembling. 

“Go away!” He yelled, sealing his eyes shut. 

“Tyler…” he slowly walked up to him, touching his arm. Tyler instinctively slapped it away.

“Leave me alone!” He shouted running back towards the forest he’d been coming from for the last three months. He climbed up and dashed home, tears streaming back like rain drops on a moving car. Tyler bursted through the kitchen door and up to his room not even acknowledging his mother, who shouted after him.

 

“I’m proud of you, Tyler. You did the right thing.” His mother said softly rubbing his back. 

“It doesn’t feel right. It feels like leaving dad all over again.” He sobbed, his mother shushing him.

“It’s okay, Tyler. This is the first step to healing you. You're getting better. And I’m proud of you.” she smiled, leaning down to kiss his cheek. 

“Just sleep. Tomorrow’s a new day. Things will get better” Tyler rolled his eyes but said a final   
“Okay.” and his mother shut the door. Silence rang through his ears as he lay there sobbing, until he finally fell asleep.

 

Tyler ran to his kitchen over to the sink, sobbing and heaving. “Dad, no!” he cried, clutching onto the edges of the sink. 

“Dad?” he cried, dropping his head onto his cold hands. 

“Tyler” He heard his dad say back. 

“Dad?” he replied through cries.

Today, his father lost his battle. Cancer had taken him right there in the kitchen as Tyler shook in fear and shock. 

“Dad what do I do?” he sobbed, blood running from his father’s mouth and nose. 

“Tyler, c’mere.” he coughed out, choking.

Tyler grabbed a dish towel and shakily approached his dad, bending down to his knees and wiping up some of the blood from his face. He couldn’t call anyone, he knew his father wouldn’t make it this time, and so did his dad

“Tyler?” his tear falling onto his dad’s face, his father's own tear falling onto the floor. 

“Hm?” his voice cracked out, holding his dad’s crimson hand. 

“I love you. Thank you for being a blessing.” Tyler heaved, his heart beating painfully fast and hard. 

“I love you, too. Dad.” His father smiled at him, choking out his last few words with his last few breathes. 

“Your worth so much more than you think, Ty.” his father's eyes drained of life like his lungs drained of air. 

“Dad?” Tyler watched how his eyes glazed over, blood painted his face from before. 

“Dad?” he repeated, shaking him lightly. 

“Dad? Dad!” Tyler began hyperventilating, before starting to scream at the top of his lungs, Crying violently, as well as shaking. 

His throat raw from yelling and screaming and crying. Tyler looked at his hands, covered in his own dad’s blood. He started weezing and sobbing as he shakily started towards the kitchen sink sobbing uncontrollably. 

“Dad… Dad.” he kept repeating through breathes. 

“Don’t leave me alone.” he cried, dropping his head onto his arm, resting on the sink. Red and blue light flashed outside as Tyler wept alone on the kitchen sink.

Tyler jumped awake, still sobbing, his bed sheets covered in blood. Tyler’s arms, and hands were painted a ruby red. His nose spilling blood like a broken faucet. The blood tasted bitter, metallic. Tyler fell into the worst anxiety attack he’d ever had yet. Staring at his blood covered hands, he stumbled out of his bed. Painting blood all over the walls, his floor. Lightening and thunder orchestrated outside of his house, the rain violently tapping on his windows. Tyler ran down the stairs, tripping over his own shaking feet. Tumbling down the stairs, he finally made it outside, the tears from the clouds washing away blood from his face, neck, and hands. He ran through the forest, toward the bridge. His feet raw, loose sticks tearing the soft skin of his feet apart. He knew what he had to do. He had to find Josh, even if he wasn’t real he helped. He gave him worth, he helped him stay alive. He needed to say sorry and talk in the rain. He wanted to sit on the bridge and count their 118th train together.  
Tyler slipped and fell into the mud, before pushing himself up to keep on running. He finally made it to the clearing, jumping down before collapsing near the bridge. 

“Josh!” Tyler screamed. Nothing. Nothing but the thunder’s echo. 

“Joshua!” he repeated, sobbing, covered in blood and mud.

“Josh! I’m sorry!” He cried out, standing up and wandering around waiting for him. 

“They were wrong! I was wrong! M-Mom was wrong! I didn’t make the right decision! Please come back!” He screamed out into the empty sky.

Tyler began screaming aimlessly, yelling for someone, anyone at this point. 

“Josh! Please!” He whispered, weak and tired.

“Don’t leave me alone!” he screamed at the top of his lungs, burning his raw throat. 

Tyler wandered onto the bridge, crying out for Josh. 

“I’m sorry!” he repeated. He walked to the middle of the bridge, sobbing. 

“Josh! Don’t leave me al-” Tyler felt the bridge beneath him shake. Tyler bent down, touching the rotting wood. He heard the wood groan before a large crack and crash. The bridge beneath him gave out, falling. Before he knew it he was in mid air. He screamed as he fell like a white Smartie down to the tracks below. He fell for what seemed like forever, everything felt like slow motion. Suddenly, Tyler smacking into the metal track, coughing up small amounts of blood. Wood chunks falling around him as if they were they were rain as well. He lay there, pain erupting through his whole body. He lay there listening to the rain, he felt relaxed. He began to think of his mom, his eyes grew dry, exhausted. The tracks began to vibrate, going unnoticed for a few minutes until Tyler saw bright white lights turn the corner. He felt calm, tired. Almost happy. 

“Josh?” he whispered before he heard the loud whistle, and the metal tracks beneath him shaking more rapidly. Tyler smiled, blood dripping from the corner of his mouth, his head resting on his crippled arm facing, the lights.

 

“118” Tyler whispered. 

 

Silent.

 

***  
The house was quiet, Tyler’s mom sat a the kitchen table with her three other children. They all sat in silence, no one looking up from the mahogany table. It was cold, no one said a word. Police officers had been showing up to the house. As well as fireman and the neighbors. The one person who she had been waiting for was Doctor Gray. Tyler's mother cleared her throat before glancing over at the kitchen window above the sink, it showed out the the trail Tyler would go down. She sighed, her eyes tearing up. Suddenly the doorbell echoed throughout the lonely house, Tyler’s mother, unresponsive, sat there for a few minutes before getting up and slowly walking to the door. The doorbell rang once again, before she unlocked the door and slid it open, the cool spring air blowing her loose blonde hair from her face. There at the doorstep stood, the ocean blue haired boy. Misty Eyed. Silent.

**Author's Note:**

> This was sort of inspired by the forest fic, the whole imaginary friend thing. But I wrote this for my English assignment about irony and I made some people cry so I decided I would post it here. I tried to make it as different from the forest fic as possible, I'm not trying to copy at all I promise. Think what you want about this story, I just felt inspired I guess. Also the colors Josh dyed his hair are suppose to represent the ambulance lights during Tyler's flashback, I didn't mean to take the hair colors from forest fic, either. Anyways, I hope you like it. I'm sorry if it is to much like the forest fic, I tried hard to veer away from it, oh well.


End file.
